Crash course with Jesus

Back many years ago I walked into an old building that had been a movie theatre and was now a church. I was a depressed, suicidal pessimist whom had grown tired of life, who hated himself, and didn't think I mattered. There was no Clarence to come and show me how things would be different were I gone, and I certainly was no Jimmy Stewart. I was at the bottom of the barrel, ready to throw in the towel.Then I went into a simple building and walked out later that night as a new person. I must admit, that back when i first walked in, I had no idea that everything in my life had led to this point. I now see how everything worked into this moment, and how God is so amazing, and had a plan for all aspects of my life. It has not been easy. There have been times where I wanted to run away and yet, did not. There have been times where I doubted it, but still believed heart and soul. I have seen prayer answered, I have been apart of things that were life changing for many, and had it not been for that Wednesday night, i would be dead. Dead, separated from God for all eternity I felt it was right to update my story from the last time I posted it, and share it again. Someone may read this, and who knows, it could impact them in ways I will never know. So, here now 6 years later, I present you my crash course with Jesus.

Back in the summer of 2007, I entered a relationship with a girl(who I will not name) and well, I felt the world was my oyster. I had nursed an interest in the occult and read about Alister Crowley and several prominent wiccan and occult leaders, from musing by Anton Lavey and such, to the Necronomicon, and many other things all through high school, and afterwards it grew more intense, and even participated in a ceremony or two. I already amassed a hefty collection of books and whatnot. As it started to grow more serious, I remember telling my closest friend that I felt that was my path. He told me, and I quote:
"Be careful dude. I know someone did the same thing, and bad stuff started happening left and right."
I paid no mind to him. In September of that year, a friend was killed in a car wreck. She was on her way to start college. One month later, my great-uncle. Car wreck. I started to feel like something was wrong. I started having intrusive thoughts, worse than any previously had. My girlfriend lived in another city as she was in college, and I wanted her there, to comfort me, and soon after went up to visit her. When I was there, things happened that I really am not sure why. Things that I don't feel like posting, as they are personal. I came back to find my friend Paul was dead. Car wreck.
I started to feel like life wasn't worth it. I was losing people everywhere it seemed. I started to think that my relationship was deteriorating into something I didn't want. And on top of it all, I could actually feel something in my apartment. Almost like, a dark presence. I bagged all the occult items I had and kept in it a corner of my apartment. By the time December rolled around I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was no longer interested in the girl I was dating, she didn't seem to have any interest given the lack of communication from her. I was drifting, and not really caring about anything. Life was wasted on me, I felt. I really felt that my existence was arbitrary, and really served no purpose. When the new year came, I sure didn't care. I mean, as far as I was concerned, I no longer had any relationship. We officially broke up on the 15th of that month, but as far as I was concerned, it was over in December. I was wondering why I was here. Then, I came to a choice. It was something that stuck out from "The Shawshank Redemption" which is one of my favorite movies.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying."

I decided that I wasn't ready to die. There had to be something else to life. So, I decided to try something.
Religion.
As it happens, the old movie theatre was now a meeting place for a new church, calling themselves Fresh Life. I felt, well, there surely is no harm in that. Why not?
I went in there, and was kind of nervous. I never really believed in God, nor did I truly deny Him. grew up in a scientific mindset, and all through school never would call myself a Christian, didn't attend church went to  a few with some family on my dads side, but never walked it, although not being into partying and drinking I had people tell me they though I was . I always felt, if I can see it touch it, then it is real. I went with a friend we took two seats on the side, and then I went exploring. I met a guy who introduced himself as Erin.
"What is this all about?" I asked him.
"Sit down, and you will see" he said. As the music started, I kinda dug the beat, but really mumbled the words. Then a young man, who looked not much older than me or my friend, got up and started talking. I soon found, for some reason, I was listening intently. And then, something funny happened.
I nudged my pal and asked, "Did he just make a Star Wars reference?"
"Yeah, he did." he replied.
I soon found I couldn't not pay attention. Something in me said, "this is right."
As he ended the message, I felt a very emotional thing happen. With the music, I almost was in tears, and I never felt like that before. To me, when I was in church, it always was some guy saying some words. An old large man, in a suit and tie where you had to dress similar,  monotonous sounding singing, boring as all get out. A lecture somewhat similar to one from a school teacher and almost as lively. This was different. Erin comes down, and asks how I felt about it.
"I..Jus....wha..." I was literally speechless. Any who know me, knows that is very rare indeed. When I tried to talk, only tears came forth, and I asked to meet the pastor. He introduced himself as Levi, and I found myself once again unable to really talk. I stood in the foyer,and asked him "How do you do this Jesus thing?" Levi then told me, it was  simple you say this prayer, mean it in your heart, and live it.
I gave my life to Jesus one minute later.
Returning to my apartment, I went to the corner where that bag was. I got it, and threw it all in the dumpster.
It has been six years since that fateful night. I now live in Billings MT helping with what is the 4th Fresh Life campus. I now serve in the kids ministry which is something I never thought I would do. I am married now, with a wonderful wife who serves alongside me, and pushes me to strive even further with my walk in the faith.  I now see how I do not need religion to be my saviour. My saviour was a man who was also God.. He saved me. Someone so pathetic, but someone. Not nothing, a person.  Do I still make mistakes? Yes. Is life any easier? No.
But I have the most awesome force behind me, to help me up when I fall. To give me strength when I feel weak. To love me unconditionally when everyone else abandons me.
I suggest you meet Him too.

If in reading this, you felt God move on your heart, do not fight Him! he has the best in store for you! Click this link here   and you can meet your maker face to face liek i did, and you will never regret it.

On Phil and Controversy

What does repentance entail? Well, in Robertson’s worldview, America was a country founded upon Christian values (Thou shalt not kill, etc.), and he believes that the gradual removal of Christian symbolism from public spaces has diluted those founding principles. (He and Si take turns going on about why the Ten Commandments ought to be displayed outside courthouses.)

“Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong,” he says. “Sin becomes fine.”
What, in your mind, is sinful?
“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

Read More http://www.gq.com/entertainment/television/201401/duck-dynasty-phil-robertson#ixzz2o2d4TJOo

Read More http://www.gq.com/entertainment/television/201401/duck-dynasty-phil-robertson#ixzz2o2cnY1Dy

If I, being a Christian thought people who are gay were an abomination because they were people, as opposed to their choices, about one fourth of my friends would no longer be as such. I couldn't work with the jobs I have, because in both jobs,  They are awesome people! It saddens me to hear when people kill themselves, and for the reasons why. I don't agree with their lifestyle choices, but that doesn't mean I don;t care about them. I do not tell them that I am above them or better than them, or try to make them feel bad because of their lives, for their lives are just that: Theirs. Not mine to make the call how they ought live. Just as they don't have the means to tell me how I ought live. I do not agree with that lifestyle personally, but I know that people don't agree with my lifestyle either, and so what? I cannot make their choices, as they cannot make mine. I do not have to answer for their lives they do. I want you to know, friends of mine who are living in alternative lifestyles L
YOU ARE LOVED! God loves you, although He does not love your lifestyle, He loves YOU.
Soaked in anger, words can do a lot. However, words can also bring healing, and hope. Trust me when I say this:
I do not agree with the homosexual lifestyle.
I do not hate people who ARE homosexual.
If anyone claiming the name of Christ has treated you with malic eor hate, then they are misrepresentign the name of Christ. He hung out with prostitutes, with scum as they were called and despised people. He only has love, and if you call on Him and turn to Him uinstead of relying on yourself, you will be healed of your anger, hate and forgiven of sin,  as long as you truly do repent, you do not continue in sin, and live to serve the one who died for you. I know people who lived in that lifestyle, who now are some of the strongest Christians I know. It is all up to you.

Turkey and Greed

This time of the year is a difficult one for me, I  have difficulty with the day after Thanksgiving. There is something that just makes me sick in gut. We spend the day 'giving thanks' for all we have, and here in America, we have an abundance of things. Most people seem to try to live beyond their means to impress people. "Oh, look at George, he has that newest pick up." "Oh Susan has the newest iPhone, she is always so tech savvy!"
I am not saying its bad to have nice things. I want nice things, I think we all do. However WHY we want them is the reason. Do we want to show off? Do we want to make our lives a little more comfortable? Do we have an impulsive need to have the best and newest? Why is it we turn from civilized people into a herd of monsters on what has become known as Black Friday? People die on this day. PEOPLE DIE. Every year there is a story about someone who is either assaulted, or trampled underfoot by the masses who NEED that special deal. It sickens me! And how do we respond? We mark it earlier. Now, these deals start on Thanksgiving day, a day that since its inception by President Lincoln has been supposed to be a day of giving thanks. Now It didn't become and official holiday until FDR signed it into effect. but it was celebrated after the Civil War, so its been around a while.
Now, as someone who works in retail, I have had to deal with the madness that it brings a lot. Each year, I get a little more jaded, and I don't like that. We as a culture become more commercial about the holidays. They give a justification to spend money we don't have, and we do. I have been told to not give some Christmas presents so we can not spend money, but I will do it, because I want to give, for I have been given much. I think we need more of that mentality, that we need to understand. In a culture of abundance, we have become a culture of greedy selfish people who need to understand that love  is the greatest gift, and it was love that bore the greatest gift of all: The grace, and salvation from Christ Jesus. God loved us enough, while we live so selfishly, that He gave EVERYTHING for us. He gave His Son, and He poured the wrath we DESERVE  onto His own Son, whom He loved dearly, and He loved us perfectly, and we need to grasp the reality of that.
So this year, really give thanks for what you have. Do you have a roof over your head? Be thankful.
Food to eat today? Be thankful.
Family to spend it with? Be thankful.
Some people would give all they have for one of those things.
And give thanks to God, who has given you this and more. If you do not know God personally as you saviour, call unto Him and give Him thanks for saving us by the blood of His murdered Son.
He will never turn you away.

Baptized In Filth

I went into my job last night at the theatere prepared for  a slow night. During the weekdays we are super slow, where the hours kinda drag a bit, because we do not have a lot of people coming in to watch movies. So I ave time to think, sometimes up to two hours in between groups of people.
Right now, there is not much going on in the cinema. Most of the movies coming out lately are either horribly violent, and depressing, and I mean, it can be a downer to go to movies anymore. Then there is the opposite case...
"
“Don Jon” is the first of its kind: a romantic comedy built around porn. It’s the story of Jon, a good old-fashioned boy who likes women but prefers pornography, and of Barbara, a good old-fashioned girl who is looking for her prince charming. “Where did the story come from,” he asks. “The story comes from how people sometimes treat each other rather like things than like people and how media can contribute to that. That’s why I thought a relationship between a young man who watches too much pornography and a woman who watches too many romantic Hollywood movies would be a funny way of talking about how these fantasies we get from screens change the way we think about the world and love and sex in particular,” says Gordon-Levitt. "
(http://www.euronews.com/2013/10/07/don-jon-porn-addict-meets-princess)

This is what passes as entertainment these days. I had to see a few moments of this film getting theatre checks and such. There was at least a dozen uses of the word f--- at a dinner table conversation, and three graphic pornography clips shown. In the space of a mere two minutes. Being hailed by critics as "stellar", "hilarious" and "confident" by critics, it is a sign of how far this country is going away.  A film, dealing around a man who is addicted to pornography tot he point where he cannot have meaningful relationship with a girl and would eschew human contact for a computer screen,is telling a generation of men that it is ok to objectify women and view them as nothing more than objects. By the end of the film, he finds 'true' love with a n older woman whom he has no intention of marrying but can at least have sex with her without having to watch porn afterward because the act of sex with a woman is not fullfilling enough.  Before i go any further, let me state this: I am an artist. i do not like the idea of censorship, but there sia point where we need to use moral judgement and think about what we take in.  

Now...as a man, I will admit that I feel the tempting lure that pornography has. Men are visually based, we are designed that way. But I would not want to watch this film with people, and that right there tells you what you need to know:
We are living in a culture that is centered around making ourselves feel good. Art reflects life, and therefore films like this are coming out. What infuriates me, is that it such acts are socially acceptable, and the traditional views of what marriage is are looked down on, and even reviled to an extent. Pornography is a big business. It makes more money than the Hollywood machine, and what is the effect? People come to stores and buy someone elses fantasy. They view it thinking it won't harm them, when it warps their perception of what sex is supposed to be, and it becomes lusting behaviour that will never end, going into more and more degrading and shameful acts.

When you look at the popular culture, what is selling, what people listen to and watch, it is filth. This culture is awash in it, baptized in filth this nation is turning away from what it was, and showing the next generation how they are "supposed" to act: Build yourself up, it is all about me. Buy this product, or they will think you aren't cool! Drink this beer and chicks will love you! Drive this truck, because that will let them know you are a real man! Ladies, if you don't dress like this, no man will like you! You can do everything for yourself, you don't need some pastor or a religion telling you what to think or how to act! Make yourself feel good, because that is what life is all about!
This is nothing more than lies spewed from the mouth of the Enemy.
The Devil wants you to buy into this trapping, and forgo such notions as abstinence, and being responsible and just live it up.  If you are a guy, be crass and crude, sleep with as many chicks as you can because thats what makes you a man. If you are a woman, dress as provasctive as possilbe but don't sleep around, because that makes you a whore, and you don't want that stigma. Don't worry if you get pregnant, because you can get that taken care of and shirk the responsibilities of being a parent so you can continue to party it up.
The filth that is spewed forth today comes straight from Hell.
It is said in Matthew that a man who looks at a woman with lust in his eyes has essentially committed adultery. Sin is sin. Pornography is sin. There is no two ways about it. You are watching a man and woman fulfill  a sexual desire, while you do the same, and all the intimacy that is meant to be there is taken away. The act of sex is to be an expression of a couples love and devotion, not something you do willy nilly when you want. But that is how it is. The culture today is all about the self, not that there isn't groups and people who say we need to be focused on the others, but looking at the culture as a whole, we are a culture all about the self, building ourselves up and worshiping ourselves and our things as the cream of the crop in an act of self worship which will only lead to our own self destruction. WAKE UP! If you are having troubles seeing this..
http://marshill.com/media/real-marriage/the-porn-path
Listen to this message. You will see that path is nothing but destruction.

Do not let yourself fall into this cycle. Reach out to Jesus, and He will bring you out of this darkness into light. I used to be in that cycle, and it nearly killed me. True joy comes from Christ, and having spent most of my life without Him, I can attest to this personally.  Even if you do not believe in the fact Jesus was the SOn of God, who died for your sins and will save you from an eternity of torment if you call out to Him, you will do it one day. One day you will die, and stand before the Lord. And on that day nothing you bought, or did can save you. There is only one thing that will matter on that day: What did you do with Jesus in your life? Did you put Him aside, and focus on yourself, or did you cry out to Him and follow His decrees? Because if you do not calll Him Lord here on this earthly life, on that day of judgement you will call Him Lord. You will bend the knee and confess that He IS the Lord, as you are cast out. Hint: You don't want that. Call to Christ NOW, while you have the choice to, because if you only do it when you are forced to at the end, you will have no choice but to accpet the result of your actions, and God wants nothing more than to embrace you! He wants you to enjoy all there is to this life, and it is possible to do so! I spent the last almost 6 years as a believer in Christ, and am learning more about Him every day, and cannot believe how I made it this far without Jesus in my life. I want nothing more than to share with you that knowledge: Christ died for your sin, and if you but call on His name, you confess with your tongue that He IS Lord, and beleive , you WILL be saved (Romans 10:9) but only if you do it here in this life.

Let me close on this thought: I know that this is not how the world and culture tell us how to be. It is a counter culture thing for sure. It is not easy in fact it is more difficult. But the payoff is so worth it. If you need help, you ask for it right? So...ask Jesus to help you! Believe me, there is nothing about that choice I made that night to follow Jesus I regret. It was the best thing i have ever done.  I just hope you reading this will see the truth in this post, and be mindful of how this culture is and how to avoid it.

I find your lack fo faith disturbing

So I saw this, and being a huge Star Wars fan, loved it. But it also got me thinking alot about how there are some very good parallels of the character of Darth Vader and the Christian life.
"Oh come on! Those were just some silly space movies made ages ago" and yet they have some very good points to make. Now just go with me here..to a galaxy far, far, away and closer than you think....

The basic story behind Star Wars is very approachable because of that very reason: It is basic.The story was developed by George Lucas with the classic mythical archetype characters
Luke Skywalker (or Starkiller, as was originally written): Naive farmboy who dreams of being somewhere else, who ends up becoming the hero he never knew he could be. Pure of heart, noble, all around good guy.
Han Solo: Smuggler, rouge and pirate. Does bad things (smuggling) for its the only way he can earn a living. Reluctant hero, doesn't want to let others know he really does care about others, and is not just a self centered jerk.
Princess Leia: Royal blood, who has dedicated her life to fighting the worthy and noble battle, wouldn't think twice about the fact that if she would sacrifice herself it would end it. She would do it. Seems unapproachable, testy, but is hiding her true feelings that she doesn't know how to cope with.

You have the aged, wise mentor figure (Obi-Wan in the original trilogy, and to an extent Yoda, especially Yoda in the prequels), even some classic comedic elements in the form of C-3PO and R2-D2. (and unfortunately...Jar Jar Binks.)
Then...then there is Darth Vader.
Until we saw him as a smal child in The Phantom Menace (Episode I) all we knew about Vader was very simple: In Episode IV, we see him as the bad guy, pure evil. We are told that Obi Wan trained him before he turned tot he dark side and betrayed Luke's father. However, in Episode V we learn this: Darth Vader is Luke's father! ( And then a genre cliche was born..) and we learn even more from Obi-Wan in Episode VI.....
"Your father... was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and "became" Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view."
Here is parallel the first.
We, originally were not meant to be sinful, fallen people. As God originally made us, we knew nothing of evil. When we were tricked into going over to the 'dark side' by eating daring to be like God, we were destroyed. Our good nature was killed and replaced with  a cold, dead heart, almost machine like in its operation of self destruction.
As he later tells Luke when he says that there was still good in him :
 "He's more machine now than man. His mind is twisted and evil."
2nd Parallel:
Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it
Vader is, the classic Greek tragedy. However, he also reminds me of a figure from the Bible. There was this fellow by the name of Saul. Now, Saul was all the things they thought a man ought be. Handsome, muscular, a scrapper, a mans man. He was made king of all Israel, and the first one to boot. He was a man who sought the Lord, who wanted to be a good servant and ruler.Yet he soon became corrupted. it is said that absolute power corrupts absolutely, and when you are king, well...is that not absolute power in this world?
Soon, he is going crazy with random spells of madness, where he tries to kill his own son in law David, and hunts him repeatedly throughout a ten year period. He finlly loses his life to his own sword after it being foretold he would die in such fashion.
Vader begins as a small child, who cares deeply for others around him and wants nothing more to help people any way he can. As he grows and trains as a Jedi, his power grows. It is foretold in a prophecy that he is to bring balance to the Force, and he is struggling to control his ambition and his growing feelings for Padme, former Queen of Naboo and now Senator. He succumbs to these feelings, and secretly marries her after losing a part of his arm in battle, and continues to deal with his anger over the fact that he cannot control fate, and soon falls to the tempting offer of Palpatine. He offers him, in exchange for his loyalty to him and his way that he will be given absolute power, and be able to do anything, including keeping those he cares about from dying.
So here, we bring another similarity..Palpatine, is a lot like the Devil. He makes this offer, promising Anakin that which he wants the most, and the cost in nothing practically, just do whaty i want. He then keeps baiting him with this promise, and slowly Anakin destroys all that meant the most to him: He destroys the Jedi Temple that had been his home for almost all his life, turns those he trusted against him and kills them, and then, kills his own wife in a twisted series of events that he feels were not his doing. He then takes on his former master and father figure, who tells him as he lays fallen how he loved him, and that he has abandoned all that he knew was good. Kinda like Adam and Eve he had all that he needed but was tricked into believing he could do things he couldn't and now he lost it all. We had paradise but lost it when sin entered the world. The role Palpatine takes on in place of Obi-Wan becomes that of the temptor, the snake who tricks him into destroying everything that he stood for and loved and then manipulates him further, much like how we fell temptations from the Devil.

Now, we come to the original trilogy, where Anakin is no more, he is now Darth Vader, a former shell of the man he was once, trapped by his own doing in a suit that he cannot function without. Much like sin entangled and binds us, there is nothing he can do about it. Enter Luke, his own son who trains the way of a Jedi, and confronts Vader to find out he is his father. Luke is determiend to redeem him, even at the cost of his own life, and in Episode VI, we see him and Vader have an exchange where Vader acknowledges his former self...and reveals how he no longer identifies with that person.
When we are reborn in Christ, we die to our former selves, and no longer identify that as ourselves, and thus we are new beings.
Perhaps I am reaching way too far, but its just some observations I have, and felt like voicing. The story of Star Wars is drawn from many things, mythical archetypes and much greater stories, and history but there is these connections to the Christian faith at least to me.

The call you least expect, and least want.

Often when my pastor (Levi Lusko, for those who didn't know) closes a message on the Gospel,  and sometimes when its not specifically the Gospel, he invites people to give their lives over to Christ, who died for the sins of all, taking our place on the cross we deserve.  He talks about how death is many things, most often, it is a surprise. One day out of the blue, we get that call. The call we least expect, and the call we least want to get. He tells how that its not a preachers trick, just the reality. He has experienced it in his own life, as have I.
Very recently, in fact.
Yesterday I recieved the call that a very good friend, on of those I would call brother and best friend, died.
He had been shot in a scuffle with police in Idaho. He had apparently driven to Seattle, feeling like he couldn't walk away form the problems plaguing him, He realized that, with our Saviour, all thigns are possible with His strength (Philippians 4:13) at least I think and hope thats what happened. He had a gun and since he was pulled over on the side of the road, a passing police officer stopped. From there it is unclear what happened, except this: They walked away.
He didn't.
In the blink of an eye, my friend was face to face with his creator,
Until I join him there, I will not see him again.
While this hurts, I grieve with hope, for I will see him again. There is a hope in the sadness. Hope from, Christ Jesus. Yes, my friend had problems, and he needed help, but I cannot say why he didn't turn to Him with them, All I know is he is gone.
The call we least expect. The call we least want.
Yet, one day we will be the subject of such a call. One day, someone will call those you love, to tyell them the very news you dread to hear about those you love. Only you will be the reason they call.
Please hear me this:
There is no avoiding this fact: The harshest truth of life is the brevity of it. My friend was not even 30. He had such potential, but it was taken. We are never promised more than today. That is why I urge you: PLEASE see yourself as we all are: Sinners who need the grace of a God whose love surpasses anything we as humans can comprehend. My friend, for all his faults, is now embraced by Jesus, for he placed his trust in Him. I WILL see him again. The free gift of Christ is available to anyone who asks and confesses that He is Lord (Romans 10:10) I urge you to do that if you have not. No, I beg you.
We are never promised that we will get chance to later in life. Why play Russian roulette with eternity?
If you wish to know more on how you can recieve the free gift of salvation with Christ, please click this link and it will explain better than I
http://vimeo.com/6648174

Metal Praise

I sat there at my desk. I was very frustrated with what i felt as a lack of progress as I struggle with the sinful nature I have. Yes, though we have Christ as believers that doesn't mean we are invulnerable to temptation. Satan still knows what bait we will take, and waits till we feel secure, sometimes even arrogant about our holiness and BANG! there we go, biting that same hook we say we won't fall for, and condemn ourselves for it. Yet Paul reminds us that there is NO condemnation  (Romans 8:1) and suddenly just felt angry. Angry that I had fallen for thee same hook each time, yes I sin. And yet, I say "Not this time," but still there I am. And this anger brought me to write, as I usually find myself doing something along those lines of expressing the moods I feel through artistic expression, and this string of words flowed forth, which I meant to keep contained to something almost tweetable, but it still came forth, and i found that i wouldn't stop, it just came, these truths, and all these lines and metal lyrics  was listening to came into play. So, here it is


Strapped in this unholiness
looking at the self made mess
beating myself up over it
knowing i could have stopped it
and chose not o end it
Helpless, hopeless and self deceived
Losing my sanity
I need You to rescue me
From this disaster of a life
Tied with strings of lies
I need You to break these chains
This destruction is my own doing
Who am I fooling
I need You to save me
This crown of thorns should be mine
But You took it for me
This suffering agony and pain
should be for me
But You gave your life for me
And struggle as I might
I cannot win this fight
Without You by my side
You came to my rescue
It should have been me
but You stole me away from the enemy
Breaking through this web of lies and deceit
to find myself bowing at Your feet
I'm so sick with this disease
And You came as flesh and blood
For today is the day of salvation
And i called Your name
and You gave Your holiness for my empire of dirt
and took it all
For those three days  You hung there
I was there
I put the nails that should have been mine in Your hands and feet
But Your love put You there
This love!
This love that never ends
No matter my own failings and that I run from it
You are there with me waiting
You bring me to life
Seeing right through me to my motives pure
This murderer I am
you wash me clean with blood
I won't go back
I stumble in darkness and fall short
but You lift me with hands like mine
For You were a man like me
and not like me
You are the Holy Lamb sent to slaughter
When blood mixed with water and poured out
"It is finished!" You cried
and now I stand there weeping and You hold me
And I live for You for You died for me
My King is alive!
Yes though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil
for You ARE with me!
My King is alive, He has conquered the grave
This I know for Your word tells me so
Hallelujah hallelujah my King is alive!
All praise to Him
My King is alive!
This is my purpose
This will be my call
You give me clean hands
That I will use to build Your kingdom here
You take my heart of stone
and give me a heart of flesh
So I will rise up
I will stand up
I will keep Your laws and I will live for You and love like You
No one can take Your life because You laid it down for me
So I give myself to You
Fill my with Your fire
Burn away this sinful way
Let Your spirit fill me
You are the God of ages
The only name that saves
The only way
The truth
The life.
Amen.