young at heart

Ok. I am such a little kid at heart. I just bought a new lightsaber from Wal-Mart. It was only ten bucks.
But it is sooooo fun.
It has an excellent balance, and feel, easy to use one handed (all the better to duel wield with...) or two handed styles. The blade glows well, and the sounds are just awesome.
Yeah. A serious geek watches for such things when selecting his lightsaber. Soon, pics shall be up!


Giving Thanks

Today, we all will gather with family, consume massive amounts of food and lay around complaining "Oh...I ate the world..." (well, maybe my mum will..) As Levi pointed out last night in service, we seem to have forgotten what this day is REALLY about. So I am putting here a prayer of thanksgiving.

God, I am thankful for you.
I am thankful for the changes you have brought in my life.
I am thankful for Fresh Life, and all those I now consider friends and family there, and for all that you do through them.
I am thankful for those who are close to me, family or otherwise.
I most thankful for Your sacrifice. Thank you for taking my sin and allowing me everlasting life.
In Jesus name, amen.

Everyone have a safe and happy holiday, and don't forget why we are doing this!


Life Burns!

Ok..I have become completely, utterly, and hopelessly addicted to Apocalyptica. This band is sheer amazement. Check them out....

"Wie Weit" feat. Marta

"Bittersweet" feat. Ville Vallo and Lauri Ylonen





This story is one I feel like sharing with any who care to read. It will be long, so proceed at your own pleasure. It is the story of how I came to know God, and the reasons behind my actions since then.

Back in the summer of 2007, I entered a relationship with a girl(who I will not name) and well, I felt the world was my oyster. I started following her belief in Wicca stuff, and even participated in a ceremony or two. I already had an interest in occult stuff, and amassed a hefty collection of books and whatnot. As it started to grow more serious, I remember telling my closest friend that I felt that was my path. He told me, and I quote:
"Be careful dude. I know someone did the same thing, and bad stuff started happening left and right."
I paid no mind to him. In September of that year, a friend was killed in a car wreck. She was on her way to start college. One month later, my great-uncle. Car wreck. I started to feel like something was wrong. I started having intrusive thoughts, worse than any previously had. My girlfriend lived in another city as she was in college, and I wanted her there, o comfort me, and soon after went up to visit her. When I was there, things happened that I really am not sure why. Things that I don't feel like posting, as they are personal. I came back to find my friend Paul was dead. Car wreck.
I started to feel like life wasn't worth it. I was losing people everywhere it seemed. I started to think that my relationship was deteriorating into something I didn't want. And on top of it all, I could actually feel something in my apartment. Almost like, a dark presence. I bagged all the occult items I had and kept in it a corner of my apartment. By the time December rolled around I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was no longer interested in the girl I was dating, she didn't seem to have any interest given the lack of communication from her. I was drifting, and not really caring about anything. Life was wasted on me, I felt. I really felt that my existence was arbitrary, and really served no purpose. When the new year came, I sure didn't care. I mean, as far as I was concerned, I no longer had any relationship. We officially broke up on the 15th of that month, but as far as I was concerned, it was over in December.
I was wondering why I was here. Then, I came to a choice. It was something that stuck out from "The Shawshank Redemption" which is one of my favorite movies.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying."

I decided that I wasn't ready to die. There had to be something else to life. So, I decided to try something.
As it happens, the old movie theatre was now a meeting place for a new church, calling themselves Fresh Life. I felt, well, there surely is no harm in that. Why not?
I went in there, and was kind of nervous. I never really believed in God, nor did I truly deny Him. I always felt, if I can see it touch it, then it is real. I went with a friend we took two seats on the side, and then I went exploring. I met a guy who introduced himself as Erin.
"What is this all about?" I asked him.
"Sit down, and you will see" he said. As the music started, I kinda dug the beat, but really mumbled the words. Then a young man, who looked not much older than me or my friend, got up and started talking. I soon found, for some reason, I was listening intently. And then, something funny happened.
I nudged my pal and asked, "Did he just make a Star Wars reference?"
"Yeah, he did." he replied.
I soon found I couldn't not pay attention. Something in me said, "this is right."
As he ended the message, I felt a very emotional thing happen. With the music, I almost was in tears, and I never felt like that before. To me, when I was in church, it always was some guy saying some words. This was different. Erin comes down, and asks how I felt about it.
"I..Jus....wha..." I was literally speechless. Any who know me, knows that is very rare indeed. When I tried to talk, only tears came forth, and I asked to meet the pastor. He introduced himself as Levi, and I found myself once again unable to really talk.
I gave my life to Jesus one minute later.
Returning to my apartment, I went to the corner where that bag was. I got it, and threw it all in the dumpster.
I have since gotten rid of over six hundred dollars worth of music, movies books and other items I feel are only going to hold me back. It has been nearly a year since that night. I am still unsure of what moved me that night, but it was something I embrace fully. My life is in the hands of God. He saved me. Someone so pathetic, but someone. Not nothing, a person. My life is for Him, and I am not looking back, and not holding back. Do I still slip up? Yes. Do I still make mistakes, Yes. Is life any easier? No.
But I have the most awesome force behind me, to help me up when I fall. To give me strength when I feel weak. To love me unconditionally when everyone else abandons me.
I suggest you meet Him too.


God Paged Me, Pts. 1 & 2.

Pt. 1
Jesus Lord of Heaven, I do not deserve the grace You have given
But still I get it. Every day, a new supply. My slate is clean, and you take it all. You did not need to but chose to. I feel You God, alot. The warmth you give me is greater than any fire or blanket man can make, and I am never unamazed that you saved me. All I had to do is ask.

And there is a darkness, deep into my soul, still has a purpose to serve
And that is just how I am. You made me that way, drawn by nature to that which is dark. I can use this darkness within, use it to bring those who never would come to You, to You. That is what I mean to do with it. Who better to serve God than the least likely to be embracing Him?

I feel determined. More than that actually. This is what i am to do. My Great Comission. I am something, not nothing. I WILL NOT let myself decay.


Wow. I cannot believe this. That I could have gone this way, a year ago, I woulda called y'all crazy for suggesting it. I was allowing things to stay with me, when I wrote Pt. 1 a few weeks back. On the first Saturday service at Fresh Life, I sat there, going over in my head 'silly boy, you done forgot your Bible. How you gonna take notes without your book?' Well I realized that when I sat down to hear the message, I actually just listened. It was so amazing. I saw why I didn't have my Bible. I was meant to hear what was going on. It made me really think of what I was like. What i liked in the way of music, and movies and things. I then went home after service, and got rid of some things, things I an willing to bet that those what know me would not expect me to get rid of. My Manson cds, shirts anything to do with him. A few dvds. Posters. Things that amounted to near 300 bucks worth. It was something I did. Compelled only by God Himself. Things that were holding me back, keeping me from really walking with Him, and therefore, was not something I wanted. If any who know me well wants to call me on it, do so. If you want to call me a hypocrite (which I for all intents and purposes, was for calling a friend for doing something similar, and we have reconciled over it) go ahead. I don't care what you think of my actions, for I know they were motivated by God and the right way to go. As stated in pt. 1, I am something, not nothing. I WILL NOT let myself decay.